"Meet Me Where I Stand" Says Nana...

When Alzheimer's was introduced to our family so many years ago, we did not know what it was. I thought, at my young age, that it was just a fancy name someone had conjured up for people going senile. "Nothing is wrong with Nana, she's just getting old." I guess I was in denial because I knew that her sister was going through the same thing, and it was a real disease. It wasn't too bad at first, Nana's behavior was something you could easily mistake for someone being forgetful, but it gradually got worse.

Paper towels began appearing in the oven, and aluminum foil in the microwave. Every small slip that she made had the potential to be devastating. Papa kept it together for years, until it finally became too much for him to handle.

Nana's spirit has always been pleasant, warm and upbeat. We knew that as long as her spirit was good, she would be too. I must admit the first year was a blur, but I know that once we entered her into a day program here in North Carolina, she was seemingly better for it. The program is called "A.C.E." and it stands for the "Adult Center for Enrichment". They would do activites within the facility, bands and comfort dogs would come in during the afternoon. Nana thought that she was a volunteer at the facility and that she was working to care for the other participants. It was cute and most importantly, Nana was happy. We made sure we were available to drop her off in the morning and to pick her up in the afternoon. Each year, they have a prom and there is dancing, a prom queen and king and presentations by government officials in our area.

Click here to see pictures on Facebook from the 2009 Mexican Fiesta Senior Prom:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.537928105957.2049914.35600144&l=2cbe8e17d8

The last year she participated in the program was a stressful one. Her decline was more and more evident. My mother and I could see it the most in the morning when we would get her bathed and dressed. Her reactions were slower, she was forgetting how to lather her washcloth and how to wash. She was becoming fearful of making big movements, like stepping in and out of the bathtub, even with our assistance. Some days, she would fight us to not get out of bed. She also had a few fights at the A.C.E. facility, but they were understanding of her condition.

I am always amazed at the names she calls in her state of confusion, most of the names I do not know and it tickles me when I do hear one I know and can make up a legitimate story as to why that person is not with us. There were many times, I had to call my aunt or father to figure out who a person was that Nana was speaking about. It took a lot of time and reflection before I started viewing her disease in a way that would be healthy for me and helpful to her. My concentration turned from trying to make her understand, to trying to puting her at ease and making her happy for that moment.

Everyday I strive to be her best girlfriend. I am no longer playing the role of granddaughter because she can't play the role of grandmother. We are friends. I do whatever I can to make her happy and sometimes that means going wherever she is in her mind. I have picked up the slang of the last sixty or seventy years trying to keep up with Nana. I remember she asked me for a "leaf" one time, I said to myself, "She must mean tobacco," and I laughed. My mixed slang will creep into my conversation with friends, and they will give me puzzled looks that only make me laugh to myself. I have downloaded Lavern Baker to my iPod because Nana loves the song "Jim Dandy to the Rescue" and now, I am a Lavern Baker fan. I have learned more from her by re-living her past with her than I probably would've through conversation. I can say that when she is coherent, and in a good mood, her wisdom is still evident when she is asked a question about life. That, I thank God for and I know Daddy does too.

Adult Center for Enrichment: http://www.acecare.org/


Lavern Baker
"Jim Dandy to the Rescue" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqKTFFOqT-w